Coaching, Consulting, Facilitation
What's on my mind...
I am inspired to create simple imagery and leverage humor to disarm audiences and communicate complicated human realities around issues such as loneliness, vulnerability and connection. Hover on the images below...
Social isolation is a growing epidemic despite constant access to “connection” tools. The percentage of American adults who say they are lonely has doubled in the last 30 years and the health consequences of this reality are serious, including disrupted sleep patterns, altered immune systems, more inflammation and higher levels of stress hormones. Loneliness at work increases stress and since leading companies in 2017 will focus on reducing stress in the workplace, reducing loneliness needs to be a wellness target. However, loneliness is too often “suffered in silence” as it is not directly dealt with and the stigma attached to it makes it hard to admit, let alone ask for help. A recent study found that about 42 percent of working adults don’t count their colleagues as close friends and yet good, healthy relationships in the workplace are necessary to help us feel connected and achieve work-life harmony. With blended and remote workforces this sense of loneliness can be exacerbated. Experts suggest helping people re-examine how they interact with others, perceive social cues and ideally “neighborhoods and communities would keep an eye out…and take steps to reduce social isolation.” What if we could cultivate caring neighborhood cultures at work. We help people self-discover deeper truths about who they are and then invite them to show up in a more authentic way in their work communities, self-advocating for their social needs and inviting others to “look out” for them, as caring neighbors do.
Want to be engaged at work? Make a best friend. No, seriously. In Gallup’s State of the American Workplace Survey having a best friend at work is one of 12 identified engagement drivers. While it always evokes controversy, it remains a predictable performance driver, influencing customer engagement and profit, among other things. When employees develop a deeper sense of affiliation and shift from “colleague” to “friend” they are driven to work actions that are over and above what they would normally consider.
Unfortunately, many companies avoid the desire for friendship at work because it feels too “personal.” The price of avoidance is a decrease in innovation, collaboration and retention. Workplace activities often feel forced and manufactured. They can even backfire (sound familiar?) if employees have to sacrifice important aspects of their life, like time with family. Work cultures that encourage and cultivate the natural sharing of personal stories foster authentic connection and engagement (leading to what some might call friendship).The trick is companies must not shy away from the “personal,” they must lean into it. By going personal, it is like inviting people into your home, and this invitation is the start of something powerful.
Brené Brown sees connection as “the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued.” We desire the experience to feel "at home" with others but genuine connection requires mutual vulnerability, letting down your protective guard (and stories) and revealing your authentic self with all your imperfections. Vulnerability takes courageous strength and is key to a connection in and outside the workplace. It must be woven into the cultural fabric of a company so it is adopted and seen as an asset, not a weakness. When employees are invited to bring their whole selves to work and be vulnerable at work true collaboration and engagement follow. Feeling “at home" with the people around you breeds a culture inviting “whole person wellbeing” where psychological safety and freedom are foundational and creativity and innovation are unleashed.
Children’s Author Mo Willems is quoted as saying “If you
ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave” and yet many of us have at times felt STUCK in a life story that does not serve us, unable to change. Narrative identity theory states that early on we all develop inner scripts that shape the way we live our lives (or as some say “we are the stories we tell”). Powerful evidence exists in how intentional choice and design of these narratives creates better outcomes and still, many of us are guided by self-limiting stories that remain unexamined and keep us from changing. Whether this can be attributed to a vestige of self-protective thinking from childhood or, as some psychologists argue, the result of natural selection favoring negativity for urgent action, we can shift this pattern by first realizing we have a choice to LEAVE our current story. Change starts with unearthing and examining the stories and beliefs you are holding onto…and that are holding onto you. After all, who better to be the author (and editor) of your own authentic story but you?